Thursday, November 17, 2005

[WCBSTV.com] Actors, Writers Want To Expose Hidden Ads

This situation is almost beneath parody. A group of overpaid, under-worked, pseudo-intellectuals in designer suits sit in gleaming tower blocks, dreaming up shows of such staggering inanity they wouldn't challenge the intellectual powers of a hamster; Then another group of suits, suitably adorned with the prerequisite pony-tails, gleefully embark on countless hours of sycophantic toadying, persuading advertisers to display their products in these shows as part of the 'essential' placements that are seen as a vital and acceptable aspect of their precious new project, and the core rationale for its entire existence.

And when their latest magnificent example of intellectual bankruptcy mercifully crashes in unmourned flames, having enjoyed viewing figures that even at its peak would be insufficient to fill a phone booth, yet another group of suits are summoned to the Boardroom altar to spend several hours in intense discussions, desperately trying to work out why people won't watch??

And through it all, the Actors on whose shoulders is rested the unpalatable chore of deluding the great American public into believing they're watching a real show, and not a 52-minute, greed-flecked platform for the Networks' true gods, are given little reward...and even less respect, and still more Actors are condemned to unwarranted anonymity because the networks are now driven purely by the desire to profit from their audience, and no longer feel the slightest obligation to entertain...or even care.

Wednesday, November 09, 2005

CNN.com - showbuzz - Nov 7, 2005

GREENSBORO, North Carolina (AP) -- Actor Will Ferrell shared one regret as he surprised winners of the State High School Play Festival.

"I regret the fact that I didn't participate in high school drama in any fashion." Ferrell, 38, told students. "You are way ahead of where I was, so congratulate yourselves for that."

The students screamed when Ferrell walked onto the stage at Greensboro College on Friday night."

--

So do we, Will. So do we. If you'd ever participated in drama, or indeed any form of acting, in any movie you've made in your entire inexplicable career, the world would be a less painful place. As it is, this country is blessed with ten thousand Actors whose inate gifts in that arena could erase any semblance of memory relating to your existence from the public's consciousness...but they can't get the chance.

Thursday, June 23, 2005

Lindsay Lohan says she'll never do a nude scene - Access Hollywood - MSNBC.com

Lindsay Lohan says she'll never do a nude scene - Access Hollywood - MSNBC.com

Updated: 5:08 p.m. ET June 22, 2005

"Said the Actress, ‘I don't think that's what needed to win an Oscar’ Actress Lindsay Lohan braved the sunshine to walk the red carpet at the "Herbie: Fully Loaded" premiere on Sunday. In an interview with Access Hollywood's Billy Bush, teen star Lindsay Lohan says she will "never" do a nude scene."

On behalf of the entire male population of the planet, may I just say...Whheeewww!!

That is such a relief, I can't even tell you. Now we can all begin the long, painful process to recover from the nightmares induced by the possibility she just might.

Monday, June 13, 2005

CNN.com - Jackson not guilty - Jun 13, 2005

CNN.com - Jackson not guilty - Jun 13, 2005: "Jackson not guilty
Jurors acquit pop star of all molestation charges

Monday, June 13, 2005 Posted: 7:26 PM EDT (2326 GMT)

SANTA MARIA, California (CNN) -- A California jury exonerated Michael Jackson on Monday of the child molestation, conspiracy and alcohol charges that could have sent him to prison for nearly 20 years."

We said it from day one, and now it has been proven.

Mr. Jackson has been the target of a thinly-veiled extortion attempt, instigated by people who, it appears, would rather peculate money from others more successful than themselves than incur the negligible amount of effort and dedication required to accumulate it on their own accord.

Wiith the delivery of this verdict the world can finally see them for the loathsome, self-centered, lying, bone-idle gold-diggers they truly are.

We have prayed that Mr. Jackson would achieve some sweet avengement. Now that blessed moment is here we gladly add our voice to those who rejoice in his rightful victory and stand four-square across the world in his support.

Michael J. Austin
CEO, Harlequinade.com
The Actors Production Company
© June 13, 2005.

Paris Hilton Plans to Give Up Public Life - Yahoo! News

Paris Hilton Plans to Give Up Public Life - Yahoo! News

"NEW YORK - Paris Hilton plans to give up public life for family life. The 24-year-old hotel heiress, star of "The Simple Life" reality series, tells Newsweek magazine that when she was younger, "I thought it was cute to play a dumb blonde. On TV, I do it because it's funny. I consider myself a businesswoman and a brand."

But Hilton says she plans to give up her public life in two years, by which time she expects to become a mother with her fiance, Paris Latsis."

All together now, YeeESSssssssss!!!

And good, friggin' riddance! Now perhaps we can make room on television for some people who do possess a perceptible talent!

Wednesday, April 27, 2005

Yahoo! News - Bush Signs Camcorder-Piracy Bill Into Law

"WASHINGTON (Reuters) - People who secretly videotape movies when they are shown in theaters could go to prison for up to three years under a measure signed into law by President Bush on Wednesday.

The law also toughens penalties for hackers and industry insiders who distribute music, movies or other copyrighted works before their official release dates. Bush signed the bill in a closed-door ceremony and released no public statement. Copies of hit movies frequently show up on the Internet while they're still in theaters, allowing skinflint fans to see new releases without buying a ticket. Pirates sneak camcorders into movie theaters to tape films directly off the screen, while some industry insiders leak copies to tech-savvy hackers before they're officially released.

The U.S. Customs Department has estimated that these people are responsible for 95 percent of all pirated movies available online.

Those found guilty could face up to three years in prison, as well as lawsuits from copyright holders."

~~~

This calls for a huge party, with balloons, a ticker-tape parade, and a cake larger than Kirstie Alley's butt! Finally, that obnoxious little man has done something right! Yesssss!!

Monday, March 28, 2005

New York Daily News - Home - McHip-hop name-drop

New York Daily News - Home - McHip-hop name-drop

"McHip-hop name-drop"

Chain wants rappers to mention Big Mac

By Oren Yaniv and Laura Williams, New York Daily News staff writers

"With names like Big Pooh, Big Daddy Kane, Big Rich Tha Don and Notorious B.I.G., "big" is already huge for rappers.

Now, McDonald's reportedly hopes to lure hip-hop artists to drop references to Big Macs into their rhymes. Though it's not offering money upfront, the fast-food giant is willing to pay rappers $1 to $5 each time songs with the plug hit the radio, according to today's Advertising Age. McDonald's hopes to have its signature sandwich in several songs by summer, the mag says."

Oh sweet lord, is there no end to it?? ~ As if the incessant and thinly-veiled advertising in films and television were not enough, now we're to be patronized with product placement in songs!

Friday, March 18, 2005

Why work, when you can steal??

As you have no doubt heard, Michael Jackson is currently the target of a thinly-veiled extortion attempt, instigated by people who, it appears, would rather peculate money from others more successful than themselves than suffer the negligible amount of effort and dedication required to accumulate it on their own accord.

If you are molested, or raped, proving the veracity of your claims is simply a matter of answering a series of questions presented to you by the defense, or by your own counsel, with all the honesty and acuity at your disposal. Should the phrase, "Yes, I was lying then...but" appear in your testimony, there is a problem. If it occurs once, this might be overlooked. Should it appear a second time, your case is flawed...

But when it is uttered in differing forms on numerous occasions, not only by you but by various members of your family and by witnesses called to support your claims, your case is a sham. And the world will see it as such.

One day, a victim of this seemingly endless cotery of freeloading parasites will validate their innocence with such withering consequences for the perfidious accuser that this loathsome practice of exploiting celebrity for fiscal reward will expire in its onslaught and dissolve into oblivion, never to return.

We pray that Mr. Jackson will achieve this sweet avengement. Until then we gladly add our voice to the gathering chorus who stand four-square across the world in his rightful defense.