Friday, March 18, 2005

Why work, when you can steal??

As you have no doubt heard, Michael Jackson is currently the target of a thinly-veiled extortion attempt, instigated by people who, it appears, would rather peculate money from others more successful than themselves than suffer the negligible amount of effort and dedication required to accumulate it on their own accord.

If you are molested, or raped, proving the veracity of your claims is simply a matter of answering a series of questions presented to you by the defense, or by your own counsel, with all the honesty and acuity at your disposal. Should the phrase, "Yes, I was lying then...but" appear in your testimony, there is a problem. If it occurs once, this might be overlooked. Should it appear a second time, your case is flawed...

But when it is uttered in differing forms on numerous occasions, not only by you but by various members of your family and by witnesses called to support your claims, your case is a sham. And the world will see it as such.

One day, a victim of this seemingly endless cotery of freeloading parasites will validate their innocence with such withering consequences for the perfidious accuser that this loathsome practice of exploiting celebrity for fiscal reward will expire in its onslaught and dissolve into oblivion, never to return.

We pray that Mr. Jackson will achieve this sweet avengement. Until then we gladly add our voice to the gathering chorus who stand four-square across the world in his rightful defense.